Cinco Revealed

So... we knew our ultrasound was coming up, and wanted to do something creative.  While we would have loved to have a gender-reveal party to celebrate with close friends and even family, Jon's travels didn't permit this.  After talking about our last ultrasounds, we both came to the agreement that we loved experiencing the gender ultrasound with one another and our kids... but we wanted to share our joy with people close to us in a fun way.

So, after some thinking, this is what we came up with:

Well, we went to our ultrasound and saw our little bundle of joy:

Our Cinco is a thumbsucker!

After seeing Cinco, we celebrated by buying him/her their going home outfit from the hospital with the kids.  We then ate a yummy steak dinner, walked around Hobby Lobby and headed home.

Once home we made our fun cards.. and scratched off our question mark to reveal to you the gender of Cinco :)

Choices

I posted a picture of a 12 week-old fetus, and a friend of mine shared it on her page.  I was really impacted by how perfectly formed a 12 week-old fetus is.  I was also struck, once again, by the confusion people have as to whether a baby is a blob of cells at this point, or a baby.  To me, it is simple.  However, not everyone is me.

One woman commented about the post being anti-choice.  After thinking through what to say, I realized that, no, this wasn't about being anti-choice - it was about educating people on the choices they make.

I began thinking about what abortions entailed as a 9th grader.  I did a presentation, and honestly, I am not sure how I stomached it.  Maybe not really having the internet and accessible pictures saved me - or maybe I was just more insensitive to that kind of stuff before.

Anyways, I digress.

I really walked away from a small facebook conversation wondering how much of a battle is placed because people try to tell others they cannot make their own choices.  I know when someone tells me I can't make a choice it infuriates me - in my mind they have no right to tell me what I can and cannot choose.

I wonder how much the pro-life, or should I say anti-abortion, movement has fueled this fire.

To me, pro-life is not the equivalent of anti-abortion.  Being pro-life entails valuing people through respect, kindness, and fairness.  I believe in justice, being firm, issuing consequences, etc., but when you value others it is shown in your attitude and how you interact with them.  Being anti-abortion is simply being against abortion.  As shown through so many demonstrations and actions, and simply how people live towards others, it is sadly obvious that there are many people who are against abortion, but not for life.

People have choices, and others do not have the right to tell them they cannot make choices.  However, this does not mean that people do not have consequences for their choices - both good and bad.

Just like my children have consequences, so do I as an adult.  Sometimes the consequences in my life are beautiful, sometimes I want to run away from them, because they feel horrible.  However, they are mine, and I need to live with them and through them.  I also need to realize my choices impact others, and consider this when making them.  I am not an island.  However, when I make choices, and have consequences, both good and bad, I need others to walk with me.

While I am not a proponent of abortion, I would not turn my back on someone because they had an abortion or were considering it.  To be truly pro-life, and have life as a consequence of my choices, I choose to love others - even if I don't understand.  Even if I don't agree.  There is a no formula for how this works, and I can't say I would never or always ________, but if I am a true valuer of life - this will be what drives my decisions and how I interact/treat others.

It is hard to really value life and others.  I do wonder how much more people actually valuing others would impact them than people trying to prove their point through acts that demoralize, disrespect, unnecessarily hurt, and devalue others.

There are so many more issues than abortion.. there is neglect, abuse, acts of hatred, etc.  If we really valued one another, I think these issues would be null.  Sadly, this is not a reality for our world - which makes me sad.  But, hey, I can impact my small world around me.  I'm not perfect, but I love the best I can, and work hard to value others.

Pain: Are you a Leper and/or Paralytic?

I have been chewing on something for awhile.  On facebook, a dear friend posted this link:  http://us4.campaign-archive.com/?u=1b9db7cc806d7872a056ae190&id=f1fe152d89.  It is titled: The Healing of the Leper and the Paralytic.  Before I write more, I must say it is probably better for you to read it yourself than rely on my summary :)  Basically, the author discusses how when the Leper was healed, the person went from a loss of feeling and pain, to having these senses restored.  The Paralytic went from experiencing excruciating pain that was not an indicator of a problem, but the problem itself, to no longer experiencing this excessive pain.  The point of the author was the restoration of each to a true experience of pain/feeling - and this is good.

Pain is an indicator that something is wrong.  Like the leper, if we are so deadened to our emotions/feeling/experiences, we do not experience this pain that is an indicator of a problem.  If we are constantly reading more into our experiences and feeling things that aren't even a result of reality, we are experiencing more pain than necessary, and probably in a state of constant confusion over why the reality of things don't line up with our experiences.

Like most people, pain is not something I like to experience.  I can see how pain has proven to be a great teacher, an indicator of something wrong, and a director to my need for healing after time.. but it takes time.  Lots of it.

I began thinking about how I respond to pain.  At first I could relate with the Leper.  I often struggle to let myself experience my own emotions and such when caught in the middle of a situation.  In college I realized that I often would get physically sick as a result of stress and problems months after it occurred.  Today I am not nearly this bad, but I usually do not even realize I feel pain until after a conversation or an event has occurred.

I also realized I am very much like the Paralytic as a result of my Leper-ness.  I often find myself imaging the worst-case scenerio later, and feel every emotion under the sun - and, yes, they are definitely not necessary. I stress into the evenings, and stress.  For me, this is a way I protect myself.  Since I struggle with knowing my pain in the moment, I want to have a handbag of ways to respond in case I am faced with something later.. and no, this method never works!

I see the author's point, and my heart resonates with the desire for me to experience pain as is healthy - the type of pain that is an accurate picture of reality, and brings with it steps towards health and healing.

Recently, I have been walking through some hurt.  I have found myself bouncing around between a Leper and Paralytic by this author's analogy.  However, I have been so encouraged by the challenge in this article.  I have been praying for God to heal the hurt that is caused, for direction on whether there is anything I need to do, finding my strength in God to step out of my wild imagination, and asking God to use this pain for good.  I wish I could say this experience was lovely.. but, honestly, while I am grateful for growing, I still do not like pain.

As I work through my own things, I always think of my kids - as you read every time you link to this blog :)  I still remember a quote that went something like this: Become who your want your children to become.  Since my years in college, this has stuck with me.  In so many ways they are my inspiration to become healthier.. even if that means being more vulnerable, taking more risks, and going through pain - the kind that corrects my bad patterns of Leperness and Parlyticalness (word???), and the kind that is a true indicator of what is wrong and needs healing and fixing.