Scandinavian Festival and Reunion

So, this August was a monumental time for Jon.  He had his 10 year high school reunion, and it was the 50th anniversary of the Scandinavian Festival - in which he has danced and been a part of since he was a wee little tot.  We had such a blast!  The festival was so much fun, and did not have your traditional fair fare.  The majority of the food was Scandinavian or European, and they had dancing and other events all day - the fun kind of dancing that doesn't all look the same :)

Jon lit up like it was Christmas as the festival, and Ezzie was super cute in how he just took everything in.  You'll notice in the pictures the authentic costumes Jon and his family wear - Ezzie joined the ranks, but I didn't :)  I was in charge of the pictures :)

Ezzie had a blast with his grandma, grandpa, auntie and uncle - as you can see from the pics below :)

I also loved getting to know and meet Jon's friends.  I had met many of them before, and had a great time catching up.  His friends, who I had only heard of, were a lot of fun to talk with as well.  Being up in Oregon made me wish, again, that we lived closer.  At this point we do not sense God leading us that direction, but in 3 years, when our commitment to LETU is over.. we hope that is where we end up :)

Jon also took me to see his grandma's house.  We visited her gravesite as well.  Jon loved her so much, and I was not fortunate enough to meet her - she passed away the summer before I met Jon.  She sounds like such an awesome woman - I look forward to meeting her in heaven someday :)

The time is coming...

very soon where we will get to meet our little girl!  I am filled with excitement, nervousness, and a little anxiety.  For those of you who know me well, you know it takes me quite a while to process my emotions and responses to situations.  I usually hit a depression and take a while to even realize I am in it, and why.  With Ezzie this happened after his birth due to a lot of factors - broken trust with my doctor, the shear shock of how hard the labor experience was, his 5-week undiagnosed diaper rash which became obvious as thrush based on my symptoms, his surprise hospital visit and horrible spinal among other things, and just the transition from working to being at home full-time.  I hit a major depression which put me on the couch crying for hours each day, and Jon reaching out the best he could and lots of prayer and support.

Why do I mention these things?  Well, I want to step into this next phase of my life aware of what I have been through, affirming myself in what has occurred, and being ready to embrace and work through whatever comes our way with Pi so that I hopefully can bypass the months of depression and the length of more than a year it has taken me to be ok with who I am as a mother, woman and wife as I adjusted to becoming a mom.

When we found out Pi was a girl I teared up - I was so excited.  I am still just as thrilled.  She is a gift from God, just like her big brother Ezzie.  Jon and I are so blessed to even be able to add another member to our family.  I have no idea what it is like to have 2 children, but even with the nervousness of how we will adjust I am really excited to see our family grow.

I have been reading up on babies again... even though Ezzie will only be 21 months when Pi arrives, I don't really remember when he did what (I'll probably have to review his calendar to double check these things :))!  I am reading through The Baby Whisperer right now and really enjoying it.  The review is very helpful!

Well, I know these updates are few and far between.  I think part of my not updating has come from me pulling into my shell a bit more simply because we are about to embark on a major transition in our lives.  Here is a picture of me at 36 weeks... not sure how much she can grow in me at this point :)

Pi's quilt

When I was expecting Ezzie, I dared to make him a quilt.  Now with Pi coming, I was excited to make her one too!  This quilt is a little different in approach.  I will also be making her bumper pads too.  Not so sure about the shirt and skirt... those seem a little far-fetched... maybe by the next one I'll be up for something new :)

Here is the front, and close-up of the bird, and back:

 

I love this stage!

Even though I struggle with the cost of being a mother - in the continual sacrifice of time, energy, and so many other facets, I cannot deny how much I love being a mom.  We have heard other couples comment on how they cannot imagine their lives without their kids.  We are shocked to see that this saying is our reality... we didn't quite understand how this could be the case before Ezzie :)

We have 4 months left as a family of 3, and I want to take it all in.  We are excited about Pi's arrival, but we don't want to miss out on the joys of this season of life.  Right now Ezzie continues to surprise us with how much he is picking up.  It seems like each day brings some new development.

Communication has been a big development.  It really goes back to the day I was tired of Ezzie fussing when he wanted more food.  At snack time I said "more, please" and signed it.  I kept doing this, and showing what the reward would be, until Ezzie finally chose something from the 3 options... "more," "please," or signing.  He chose signing.  It was worth the battle for him to choose something.  I have noticed his fussing when he is hungry has gone down, and he now employs the signing for more than food.

Even since then he has been imitating more words.  Even today, his friend Sam was over and he said "yuck," and so did Ezzie (a new word to add to his vocab :))

Just to name a few - last week, Ezzie began dipping his fries in ketchup.  He also has been playing differently with other kids.  He and his friend Evan are now initiating high-fives on their own and even giving each other hugs.  Evan is only a month older than Ezzie. 

I have a feeling that Ezzie is going to be a great big brother.  Today Titus (who is almost 3 months) was playing in our playyard.  Ezzie was playing with him, and even began to lay down and cuddle with him.  It was completely adorable!

I am so proud of my son.  My heart just feels with joy when I think of him.

Our little Pi is a mover and a shaker.  I absolutely love feeling her move around!

Ezzie kind of understand baby... he says "ba-ba."  He often will point to my stomach.  Sometimes he points to Jon's stomach or my chest.  I am not sure what his understanding is exactly :) 

Here is a picture to leave you with of Ezzie, Pi and I.

Our little girl :)

Today we found out we are having a little girl!  Jon and I are both so excited.  I actually got tears in my eyes when the technician told us.  I was so sure we were having a boy.  I would have been happy with a boy.  I think I just wanted a girl a little more. 

In some ways I am a bit frightened.  I remember being this way with Ezzie too.  I felt uncomfortable having a boy, and then once he was here, I have become so used to raising a little boy.  I feel the same anxiety with a girl...  what do I do with her?  I know the answer is simpler than I make it.. I just have a gold medal in worrying.  Wish I got an honorary mention in that category in life!

Despite all the worry, I am already planning things in my head.  We went to JCPenney and got a few things, and then to Hobby Lobby to look at fabric for her crib things.  I am SO thrilled.  I am also planning little dresses to make, and even thinking about bows in her hair - something I have never even had an inkling of excitement over.

It does seems surreal, but it is real, and I am really happy.

Her due date is September 22nd, and we will announce her name then :)

Here are some super fun pictures of her:

The Proof:

Profiles:

One of my favorites:  Her feet.  She has them crossed at the ankles.  On the left you see her foot upside down, and on the right you see her little ankle behind the foot :)

15 weeks down, ~25 more to go

Wow, this pregnancy is going by so much faster than Ezzie's. I definitely have noticed a difference in my obsession with reading up on every development and week of the baby's life. I also have not taken any preggo pics until now. I hope we will atleast do great at taking lots of pics of baby pi when s/he arrives!

I think we will find out in May whether we are having a boy or girl. At this stage, I can see the pro's of having either. Regardless of the gender, our hope is for a healthy baby and a better experience during labor and delivery. So far we have loved our midwife. The more I read up on her background and meet with her, the more I sense I can trust her. See, we trusted my last doctor, but in the labor/delivery process found her to be untrustworthy. It really put a damper on a lot of things surrounding my labor with Ezzie. Thankfully God blessed us with amazing nurses who were so attentive and encouraging.

Well, here is my preggo pic with Ezzie on the left at about 15 weeks, and my preggo pic with Baby Pi at about 15 weeks. Can you see any difference???

Zoo!

Our cutie on the way home :)

One thing I love about Jon's job is the flexibility. He worked on Saturday, and got to take today (Monday) off. We both have needed to get out of Longview. Originally, we planned to take a small overnight trip Sunday. Thankfully we nixed the plan last week. Had we made the reservations, we would have had to cancel due to Ezzie being sick. This morning he was well enough to do something - so we took a family trip to the zoo. This was Ezzie's first visit.

Ezzie is now starting to distinguish people and animals from the surroundings. If an object is moving, he can easily distinguish it, but if the item is not moving, he doesn't do too well. It is neat to see him develop this skills. He often brings me a book, and we look at the animals on each page. I can tell he still is not quite distinguishing the animals from the backgrounds, but he is getting better! We saw this skill come out at the zoo today. Ezzie loved watching the birds and other animals that moved a lot, but he surprisingly loved this green lizard that just sat in his cubby. I tell you, his little squeals and laughs just make my day :)

We got a membership to the zoo. We are excited at how this opens up opportunities to visit other zoos around the country for free of a 50% off discount. Zoos are so much fun. Here's to more trips!

Petting the goats! Here little birdie!!


Looking at the birdies with Mommy, Checking out the birds in the water

A Haircut - It can be revolutionary!

So, we cut Ezzie's hair for the 2nd time. This time we pulled out Jon's clippers and gave little man a shave. I was not prepared for my gut reaction. I knew he would look different. Knew he'd probably look more grown up, and even wondered if he would look more like he did when his hair was that short at about 3 months. Wow - my reaction was so much more.

I felt like my son had grown from a 15-month sweetie into a possible punk kid. I immediately found myself unsure of his temperament and wondered if he was going to stop smiling and giving my those grins that delight my heart. I have no idea why a haircut spurred these feelings and gut reactions, but as soon as I vocalized my feelings I was grateful for Jon reminding me that Ezzie had not changed.

I feel there is a great lesson to learn from this for the future. I have no idea what may cause me to stop and question who my son is, and even other people in my life again. I hope that when I do, I will remember this haircut - something so small and completely unconnected to who my son is and remember the truth that I know about him, others, myself, and even God.

Sometimes that truth is hard for me to hold onto. Last night I had a very rough night, and Jon spent a good portion of it just holding me as I cried and hurt over questioning my worth, value and significance. His comfort, and God's peace finally lulled me into a sleep where I woke up with peace in my heart. See, nothing had changed my worth or value to anyone, except for my own perception... my haircut.

I wish everything could be as simple as "that haircut didn't change who he is," but it is not. Things are more complicated, but in essence, perception is not always truth. I know Ezzie will have more haircuts, and possibly make other choices that are really out there. I am so grateful for Jon in my life. It is amazing to have him as my partner in life.

So, my thoughts for today. And, a cute pic to leave you with.

Another Miracle

Every time I see a baby being born or cared for, I tear up. Whenever I see a picture of a baby in-utero I get so excited, and also tear up. The whole process from conception to birth is amazing. A process that no human, in all of his/her intellect or strength could recreate.

Today we were met with worrisome news when we visited our midwife (atleast more to me than Jon :)). Our midwife couldn't find the heartbeat. She told us she wasn't too worried because my uterus was developing just fine. However, she did not want us to go home without hearing or seeing our baby's heartbeat. So, off to make an appt with the ultrasound technicians. At 2:30 today we had out appt. I was so excited when I saw a flicker of movement as the technician was measuring one of my ovaries - and of course, I teared up. Baby pi is so cute already. Pi was moving like crazy, and every time I laughed Pi would bounce to the top of my uterus, and then settle down to kick again.

Our original due date of September 28th has been moved up to the 20th based on growth. We'll see how little Pi develops. Who knows if Pi has a long torso like Ezzie, and simply is measuring big.

On another great note, before pics, I found out that my gestational diabetes tests came back clear! I am sure I will develop it at some point, but it is nice to know this is not the time :)

Picture 1: Profile

Picture 2: Head and hand. The hand is on the right of the head (as you are looking at the pic). Can't tell if the baby is waving or sucking his/her thumb - but the hands by the head thing is the same thing Ezzie used to do :)

The sequel...

We are really excited for our family to grow. It is crazy how the timing of this has worked out, and how perfect things are lining up. Our little one should arrive around September 28th. That allows us to fly to Oregon to participate in the Scandinavian Festival (50th anniversary!), and Jon's 10 year reunion. Jon grew up dancing in the festival, and every year that we have not been able to go, he has been a bit bummed. I will be around 34 weeks - safe, though barely, to fly :)

We also will be able to visit my family for Christmas this year! The baby will be around 3 months old... perfect for traveling! I think my stress level will go down too after having that time to adjust to 2 little ones :)

Right now I am just making it through the pregnancy. I have been hit hard by nausea, sugar level issues, and a perpetual cold that has a pretty strong crush on me. I am hoping the cold gets the hint, and leaves soon for good.

One of the main issues Jon and I have struggled with (and it has been me who has felt the most stress :)) is our plans for the labor and birth of this child. We did not want the same hospital/doctor experience as last. We both had never considered a home birth until we met a fabulous midwife. However, after thinking through the details of the situation (she is having her first child in July, and there are no other midwives close enough to us), we found that option just to not be the one for this birth. After making some calls, and talking with people, we discovered a doctor who has midwives under him. We would give birth at the same hospital as Ezzie, but not be confined to the bed, or have pitocin pushed on us from the get-go. I am very excited about this option, and meet with one of the midwives in 2 weeks!

It has been hard to keep my spirits up - I just feel so bad. But, I am trying. I told myself I would embrace my second pregnancy even more than my first... and this is a struggle, but it is worth the work to try to keep my mind and heart focused where it needs to be, rather than wallowing in feeling blah.

Looking forward to good news in 2 weeks... hopefully all is well, and the baby's heartbeat is strong and pumping!

Our walker!!!

I know it has been a while since I last wrote. I know, Ezzie's birthday has come and gone. From Nov 18-Jan 10th our life has been crazy. All of the major special dates for our immediate family fall between those dates, not to mention Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Annette's wedding!

I wanted to share with you Ezzie's latest endeavor: walking. He began to make real strides (haha :)) on Jan 7th, and is now walking like crazy. He is definitely not a total walker, but he is taking more risks and going farther than before. Hope you enjoy this video. I had to bribe him with keys. When I first began trying to get him on film he resorted back to crawling. Even when we would pick him up to attempt to get him on his feet, he would go limp like a noodle.